Thursday, April 3, 2014

Faith

Why is it that when our lives seem to be flawless and near perfection that we often take our blessings for granted and seek God a little less or a more casually rather. I may be speaking only for myself but I have a good feeling that this pertains to many others as well. Shouldn't it be the opposite? When all is well and we are full of love and happiness shouldn't we seek him more and THANK him for our many blessings instead of becoming complacent in our FAITH? Its kind of like viewing our relationship with God to the relationship we had with our parents in college or other stages in our lives when we believed that we were independent but truly were not. Their numbers were still on speed dial but rarely used unless WE were in need of something....

The minute our lives are overturned or we are faced with unbearable hurdles to overcome we go running back to these relationships that we have set on the back burner as we are so deserving of them still being there for us. I see that I am guilty of this now more than ever as I am going through these trying times of grief, pain and loss. "The lord is close to the broken hearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit." So much truth in this scripture and the only real comfort that I have found through the healing process this far has come from seeking him through scripture and prayer.
I guess I just feel guilty that the closest my relationship seems to be with him is in times where I am struggling and need him. We always need him...

Adrienne and I had always talked about our faith and how we wanted to continue taking steps towards strengthening it. Together the past couple of years we started taking steps in the right direction by going to church more, studying scripture and slowly making changes needed in our lives. When I lost her there were and at times still are moments I feel anger towards God and Id be telling a lie if I told you different. I don't think these moments are avoidable and as long as I do not let it change my beliefs and what I know to be true then the moments will pass.  I guess the reasoning behind this post is because I do not want to treat my Faith like a AAA card and tuck it away to collect dust until something goes wrong and I am in need.

2 comments:

  1. Jesse, I think this is absolutely beautiful... its an amazing reminder! I know I struggle with feeling complacent in the good times.. I'm grateful for the fact that we serve a God that doesn't judge or questions us when we do come back to him.. I think that shows his character.. a God that cries with us, gets angry for us, and holds us during unbearable situations.. I am in awe of your faith through this time.. I' m praying for God to continue to send you his strength, comfort and peace...

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  2. This is something I noticed as well when I went through my divorce. When things were good, I barely gave God the time of day, but the second it fell apart I was on my knees begging Him for help. It's something I've been working on as I've started healing and have been happy again, since I've noticed myself falling into the same routine again. I only call on Him when I need something, but I don't actively read my scriptures or even pray all that much. It seems like I don't thank Him unless it was something I directly asked for. A close friend once told me that she thinks the reason we are given trials is so that we can learn to lean on Him and trust Him. That's always been something I've struggled with, trusting Him without knowing the outcome, and laying my burdens down. It's human nature, it takes real effort to change it.
    I pray for peace and comfort you. Thank you for sharing.

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