What does one do when their entire world is flipped upside down, when the familiar and comfortable become the unknown and displaced? So many options, so many thoughts, so many choices that I do not want to make, and feel that I am incapable of making at the moment without doing so irrationally.
I have family scattered out from Atlanta to the Twin Cities and even as far as Seattle Washington. Since I lost Adrienne I have been taking many trips traveling to visit with each of them and enjoy their support as well as company. This entire ordeal has truly opened my eyes to see just how blessed my family is to have the relationship with each other that we do. Every one of them were there for me in the darkest moment of my life and I could never thank them enough for that and pray that they know I would do the same for each and every one of them. It makes me so sad to see families that hold grudges and let time or distance tear their bond apart farther and farther until a close brother or family member becomes nothing more than an acquaintance or a distant friend. There are no problems, hardships, or wrongdoings that are too large that we cannot swallow our pride and mend the love or relationship we share with our families. At the end of the day, when all has gone wrong, you have fallen on your face, or have no strength to carry on it is your family that will be there to lift you up and carry you through that hard time.
The thought of relocating has crossed my mind frequently these last few months for this very reason, my relationship with my family. A portion of my desire to relocate is still geared towards running from everything and starting over but I promised myself that I would not make this decision for at least a year. I also do not want to make this decision until the thought of running is no longer there but it is based only on bettering myself or situation, because running is not going to fix anything.
My latest trip was a surprise visit to Minnesota and Wisconsin for Memorial Day weekend! Somehow no one found out that I was coming and was able to surprise everyone through the help of one of my sister in-laws! What a trip this has been, three brothers, three sister in-laws, one niece, one nephew, and a baby on the way. I miss being able to get in the car and drive to see everyone. Spending this quality time with everyone has brought me so much joy and I feel like I have slept better this week than I have in the last 5 or 6 months... There is just an irreplaceable feeling that I get while snuggling for a morning nap with my niece, or cuddled up on the couch with my nephew watching a movie. My family is so amazing, supportive, and full of love. Adrienne was and always will be apart of it as we continue to share fond stories or memories of her frequently. You were adored by not only me, but my family as well.