As I have mentioned previously, I have really been feeling like the next step to heal for me is getting back into my own home, and learning to live on my own again. As much as this scares me, I know that it is what must be done to take that next step, and by no means am I rushing myself or setting a timeline, I simply feel that its time. I don't know how, I don't know why, I just do. Tonight the realtor emailed me saying "congratulations, they accepted your offer!" When I read it a whirlwind of emotions flooded my mind. First some excitement, that I would normally share with you and it would make it so much sweeter and better seeing your joy. It then turned to confusion, is this right? What would Adrienne have said, or thought? Would you love it like I did? What am I going to do with all the empty space? Its just me, no one else, just me, for the first time in a very long time, I am going to be living alone in a home that you and I have been working for and waiting for TOGETHER..... This confusion changed back to bits of excitement, then bits of sadness, and eventually I convinced myself that it is what's right, no its not going to be easy, and yes Adrienne would have loved it! So along with this date, the 13th, the 6 month mark, a big milestone comes with it as I take this giant step forward into the uncomfortable, lonely, scary and very difficult journey that has become my road to healing. I miss you more than words can express and wish so badly that we were taking this step together and turning the page to a new chapter in our marriage together. "Love You to the stars and back"
|This was taken the day we closed on our first home together. Together, that was a very special day and one that I will not forget.|