Thursday, November 13, 2014

11 Months and Another Goal to Tackle

November 13th..... 11, ELEVEN.... ELEVEN months.... This is the first time that this date has snuck up on me without being noticed a week out with thoughts of it lingering in my mind and clouding all other thoughts or abilities to function.  As I sat here thinking about December 13th, which is the 1 year mark, I started to feel overwhelmed and nervous. I don't want to dread dates forever, nor be frightened by there approach and the lack of plans to keep myself preoccupied on them. I realized I had absolutely nothing planned for the 1 year mark and needed to make plans to get out of town, do something meaningful, uplifting and special that would bring some joy so that I am not merely sulking in loneliness and drowning in the painful memories of this date 1 year ago.

Just recently a friend of mine asked me to help them train for a half marathon while I was preparing for mine as well. Eventually after a few runs together they invited me to run with their group in the 1/2 marathon on Kiawah Island just outside of Charleston S.C. This was Adrienne's second favorite city to take day trips to and visit. Second to the one and only Savannah GA where we were wed.
The location already caught my attention but it was the date of the event that really gave me the chills. December 13th... As soon as I found out the date I was convinced that this would be the perfect distraction, goal, plan whatever you want to call it for this day that's memories bring back pain and hurt. Working towards another goal/run will help me to take my mind off the date and maybe focus more on the positives that will come from the new December 13 of 2014, not the dark Dec 13th of 2013. I just registered before I could change my mind and am going to do it. Done and done. This date will not win and allow me to be depressed, but rather bring joy, fulfillment and focus on positive memories of love and happiness. Many things fall into place for a reason and this is one of those things. The date of that event as well as my friend inviting me are no coincidence at all. Find positive in all things. Do not let thoughts of the future cloud the current thoughts and aspirations you have in this very moment.

6 comments:

  1. We are so close in our grief journey. I lost my son on Dec. 15. Like you, I tend to look ahead and prepare my self for the dates. It does help. Nothing keeps the pain away but I think it's like being hit by a big wave coming in from the ocean, when we see it coming we can brace ourselves and not be knocked off our feet. Prayers that we both get through our "dates."

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    1. We are extremely close. I will be praying for you these next few months as the holidays approach, that we may traverses the obstacles, and ups and downs of the paths we now walk. I hope you're surrounded by smiles and loved ones Angela!

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  2. ":do something meaningful, uplifting and special that would bring some joy so that I am not merely sulking in loneliness and drowning in the painful memories of this date 1 year ago." You just did. You wrote this and shared it with the world. Great way to remember, and a great way to ensure he is never forgotten.

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  3. I wish I could be there with you Jesse. What a beautiful thing to do, in a beautiful city.

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    1. Thank you Glenn! It was so uplifting and just a huge step that I didn't think I would be able to take. Having the run there to work towards helped take some of the sting away. Hope you are well my friend!

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