Wednesday, January 21, 2015

Charleston 1/2 Marathon & Detour On My Way Home

These last few weeks, actually months have seamed to float right on by like a leaf being swept away by the flowing current of a river. Over a year and a month have passed by since the day I had to say goodbye to my wife and life companion. Some days it feels like this was all just yesterday as the pains are still so real and others it feels like an eternity.

I am still staying busier than ever sometimes because its all that pacifies the pain and sometimes without even knowing I am doing so. There have been many weeks & weekends that I have felt as if I was standing outside watching my life pass by hardly capable of making the decisions before me. This overwhelming feeling is still lingering around but I am learning to control it more and trust in the decisions that I make even if they do not feel comfortable or in place so to speak. One major thing that has helped with this is to set goals or tasks continuously and work towards achieving them one buy one, checking them off as I reach them.

With one year gone it feels kind of like I am the last one standing trying to pick up the pieces from the wreckage, all the dust has settled, or that the tremendous amounts of support has started to slowly fade away and it is assumed that I am "good to go again." I know that many friends or family members still struggle with the loss of Adrienne still and will for years to come but I am just sharing my true feelings as a survivor, a husband who lost his wife and that ugly word that I hate so much, a widower... This new year brings new struggles but also with it new beginnings, new hopes, new dreams and hopefully joy & happiness.

I decided to start the year off right with another 1/2 marathon in downtown Charleston S.C. I am so grateful that I found this outlet to vent, escape and to clear my mind on a daily basis. It truly helps me to keep positive, forget or push aside negativity & most importantly that we are much more capable than we give ourselves credit for. Find whatever it is that brings this happiness & clarity to your life and run with it.

As I was on the road home from Charleston I saw a sign for Savannah.... Without thinking twice I was taking the off ramp heading that way. With no work on Monday I was wondering why I was heading home anyways. The sun was shining, I still had a runners high and know that many times in the past, these spontaneous trips with Adrienne were by far my favorite. I watched the Seattle Sea hawks football game in the warmth of the sun, sitting at a beach front Tiki Hut that I once sat at with Adrienne by my side.

Saturday, January 3, 2015

Fundraiser Progress

They are finally here! Thanks to all the amazing support for this cause from so many amazing friends, family members as well as strangers! I have 25 Kindle fire HDs with pink, blue, and purple cases ready to be donated to the children's hospital here in Augusta when they are loaded with fun apps, movies and inspirational devotionals. Seeing this all come to fruition means the world to me, all in memory of an amazing  woman and her love for children that I too shared. The smiles that this will bring to so many children's faces will be priceless.  I believe this is just the beginning for this project and I am very excited to see what the future holds. We were looking to have these delivered by Christmas but we are just working out a few more details before dropping them off.  Thank you for believing, thank you for sharing and thank you for giving. Huge thanks to the folks at Google and go fund me as well!

I know first hand just how much of a difference these can make to a persons life going through the struggles and hardships while battling cancer. My wife's first treatment is not something that I will ever forget, as I set next to her for the hour looking around the room at so many scared faces some old and some far too young. Adrienne and I brought our laptop that day and I told her I would watch any movie with her that wanted to. Her choice was "The Princess Bride." We sat there hand in hand as she received this medication that we were praying would make a difference. Whether its a movie, book, game, devotional or any other app, the ability to lift your spirits or simply keep your mind off of reality briefly helped Adrienne tremendously and think that anyone going through this situation should be given the same opportunity.

Thank you all again for all the amazing help and support to make a positive impact on the lives of those who truly need the uplifting. These pictures are the reason this fundraiser was geared towards children battling cancer. These are just a small fraction of the many kids that Adrienne loved, spoiled and shared her beautiful smile with while she had the chance. Since we did not have the chance to have any of our own I thought it was suiting for this to benefit children, and that fact that its going to those fighting Cancer just makes it that much more dear to my hear.